if you want everything,
you don’t want anything enough
the poet said
if I like the poem in the middle,
I buy the book
the worst work hides there,
buried between excitement - from the past
and anticipation - for the future
if you want everything,
you don’t want anything enough
it was the last page I read
a concluding thought to leave me
lying on my bedroom floor
tracing, open scars
do I have an anything?
am I stuck in everything?
I went from writing words
to numbers
and back again
bricks or boats?
I don’t know the answer,
so I must be mysterious
my head is full of faces and melodies
— my veins are full of words
the outlook is slim,
they can’t find the cure
because it’s in a book they forgot how to open
veins full of words
— can you hold some?
maybe with a faster blood-flow,
I can make a decision
bricks or boats?
my GPS thinks home is in 4 different cities,
it tries to give me directions
from Dolores Park to the East Village
am I running from,
or to?
I lived a thousand lifetimes,
but never made melodies like I thought I would
I died a thousand lifetimes,
but never painted pictures like I thought I could
— I left those for you
and the demon in your window
anything
everything
if your pit crew takes too long
the race ends
he was a book,
I read the end of first
I don’t miss his eyes,
but I miss the small of his back
I could never see his soul,
but I drew a constellation there
he never noticed,
always trying to get out of bed
without breaking my porcelain skin
I bet it’s still there
I have a touch that burns,
so I fill my bones with ice
I see a thousand souls in your eyes,
an entire galaxy of you
if we could live in them
we’d always have enough space
and nobody would be bothered by the sound
are you an everything
or an anything?
if what my grandmother says is true
I’ve known you for a billion years
star dust
turned into bones
that always find each other
that’s why they fit together so well
they’ve had a billion years to learn the shape
am I an everything
or an anything?
if I set you on fire,
you’ll burn down to ash
stuck waiting another lifetime,
to have you at last
will our bones move faster next time?
if you want everything,
you don’t want anything enough
I hate the way they think in absolutes,
but I envy the way they know
my GPS thinks home is in 4 different cities
it tries to give me directions to you,
but it doesn’t know where we are
if you want everything,
you don’t want anything enough
I am afraid,
or I am fearless
I don’t know the answer,
so I must be mysterious
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